Was a lad (easy). Now a dad to Daisy & Seth (less easy).


Do Your Kids Ever Annoy You…?

Is it ok to find your OWN kids annoying?

Obviously other people’s kids are annoying;

The won’t-stop-whining-in-a-restaurant kind of kids.

The kicking-up-a-fuss-in-the-supermarket-queue-when-you’re-stood-behind-with-only-one-item-to-pay-for kids.

Or the sat-behind-you-on-a-flight-kicking-your-chair-when-you-just-want-to-sleep kids.

We all know those kids are annoying. But your own?

I asked this question on social media earlier this week after a half-term morning with Daisy & Seth where they were totally doing my nut in.

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This was just before we set off for the morning. Look! Butter wouldn’t melt…

I expected to receive a wave of shock at the idea of finding one’s own flesh and blood to be a pain in the backside, but to my surprise, EVERYONE THINKS THE SAME!

Hurrah! I was getting all worried that I might be the only one to think this.

Here were some of the comments people offered:

Defo!!! I sometimes ask mine if they are doing things on purpose just to annoy me…

All kids are annoying. Especially when they are your own. At least with other people’s kids, there comes a point where you can say “They have been horrendous. Take them back.”

Your kids are probably ‘broken’ and need some new batteries if they don’t annoy you at least 236 times a day!!!

So with the general consensus suggesting that this is a totally normal thought process, I have decided to note down ten pointers to my kids (and maybe they will apply to yours too) in the hope that they might stop being quite so annoying.

  1. I am your dad; if I ask you to do something it would be simply super-fantastic if you’d just do it. Without a discussion. And at the first time of asking.
  2. You know when we go to a shop or the supermarket? It doesn’t mean you are going to get a present. Stop asking. It’s making me want to buy you… NOTHING FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES!
  3. Blaming the other one when you’ve done something wrong never works. I’m not stupid (I don’t think).
  4. Saying ‘sorry’ straight after you’ve been naughty doesn’t mean you can get away with your crime in the first place!
  5. Constant whinging and whining when you don’t get your own way leaves daddy with one thought; boarding school.
  6. Cake and biscuits don’t constitute a main meal; eat your proper food first and then (and only then) can we talk about treats.
  7. Neither of you have a divine right to one particular seat on the couch or at the table so stop fighting over the corner pitch. Even if it is the comfiest spot!
  8. Telling tales on one and other doesn’t put you in the good books. It makes you a snitch. Nobody likes a snitch. Best to learn this at an early age.

Wow. That feels good to say out loud.

And I know what you’re thinking. ‘You said you had 10 pointers but that’s only 9’. You’re right. Here is the last:

10. I know I always tell you that ‘hate’ isn’t a nice word to use, but on this occasion I’m going to make an exception. I HATE raising my voice at you. Honestly. I feel guilty after I’ve done it, especially when I see your little faces look upset. So let’s make a deal; I’ll try not to do it… if you promise to try (just try) to be a bit less annoying!

And I’ll leave the last word to someone who summed it up beautifully on my Facebook page by saying:

The best piece of advice I was ever given “it’s healthy to want to throw your kids at a wall just not healthy to actually do it”.