Was a lad (easy). Now a dad to Daisy & Seth (less easy).


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Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot.

First and foremost, it’s been a little while since my last blog. A combination of being insanely busy at work, a manic winter period and moving house has kept this on the backburner for a month or so. It’s no excuse; I’ve given myself a little slap on the wrist and normal service is now resumed.

If I’m being totally honest, I had planned for this blog to be about something entirely different to what I’m about to write, but this week has been overtaken by Seth being unwell with a really high temperature.

It’s amazing; you can start your day or week with intentions to do certain things, but if your little one is under the weather everything else gets kyboshed.

Here he is pre-temperature, and then just 24 hours later:

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You know he’s unwell if he won’t even let you do his quiff!

Now, as exciting as a blog about the intricacies of his symptoms would be for you(!), that’s not what this is. I’ll just quickly say the following.

In the grand scheme of things, thankfully he is fine. He’s had a temperature for a week now, hasn’t slept during the nights, stopped eating, hardly drank anything and has refused to take medicine. It’s been a bit of a nightmare but I’m hoping in the last 24 hours or so he’s turned a corner.

There are, however, certain things that happened this week which I thought I’d share with you because they made me chuckle in the midst of the sleepless nights and obvious concern about his health.

  1. Ill Kids Turn Parents Into Liars

Seth has been up at all hours of the night, every night, for a week. Every time he wakes, one of us has to go and sort him out. It’s been like going back to new-born stage except worse, because when they are new-born at least you expect to be up in the night!

In the beginning when we heard him, we’d both instantly bolt upright, have a chat about who was going to leave the warmth of the duvet and head into the cold wilderness of the hallway and on to Seth’s room. Unless Seth was shouting for one of us in particular, we shared the load 50/50. But by the end of the week (after about 15 trips back and forth for both of us), when we heard Seth wake up, there’d be a difference. The friendly chat between us had been replaced with…

Silence.

I didn’t speak. She didn’t speak.

There are two explanations for this.

EITHER we had become so used to hearing Seth wake up that we were simply sleeping through the noise…

OR neither of us could be arsed getting up so we both pretended that we were fast asleep in the hope that the other would sort him out.

Essentially, we were partaking in an elaborate game of Sleeping Lions!

  1. Sleep Is The Best – Anywhere!

He might not have been able to sleep in the night but he sure made up for it in the days. I just thought I’d share this snap with you because it really sums it up.

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Every day Seth was falling asleep in a different place. One day he even fell off the couch and still remained asleep on the floor (bottom right picture)! If only the same had applied between the hours of 7pm and 7am…

  1. My Doctor’s Surgery Is Very Sneaky

On Day 3 of Seth being ill we made a doctor’s appointment. We were pretty sure that he was ‘ok’ but wanted to check he didn’t have anything like an ear infection for which he would need antibiotics. Our appointment was booked for 12.20. My experience of the doctor’s surgery is that they are NEVER on time. Seriously. Never ever in the whole history of going there. Their consistency in tardiness is something to behold. Sometimes I think it must be some kind of sick in-joke that they have.

We arrived ten minutes early at 12.10 only to be informed by the receptionist that the doctor seeing Seth had been sent out on an emergency, so we sat down and awaited his return. It felt like we’d been there for ages when we were eventually summoned in but as I glanced up to the clock in the surgery I noticed it was only 12.25 so I wasn’t too angry, as in the end they were only 5 minutes late.

As I left the surgery after our appointment, I noticed the time on the clock was 12.35 and felt bad for previously berating the surgery (albeit only in my head) for always being late.

It was only when I got in the car and turned the engine on that I made a startling discovery; the time wasn’t 12.35 at all… it was 12.55. This can mean only one thing…

MY DOCTOR’S SURGERY INTENTIONALLY PUT THEIR WALL CLOCK BACK SO YOU DON’T THINK THEY ARE AS LATE AS THEY ARE. (Sorry for the capital letters but I’m outraged!!!)

  1. Too Much Calpol Sends You Loopy

Amidst the generally miserable, tired, snotty existence for Seth this week were moments when he perked up a bit. Normally after a dose of Calpol.

And I do wonder if too much of the pink stuff can make a kid go a bit loopy.

Because he seemed to be feeling better I suggested a game of hide and seek. Seth usually hides behind a door or under a couch. It’s always in the kind of places where I would have to search a bit to find him. On this occasion, Calpol-filled Seth genuinely thought he had found the most incredible hiding spot here:

photo 1

And his hiding places were to become more and more bizarre, eventually resulting in him running upstairs into the bedroom and shouting ‘READY’ when he had planted himself here:

photo 2

5. Mums Know What To Do

Getting medicine down Seth was an absolute breeze. For the first day!

After that, Seth straight up rejected taking another spoonful of anything that might actually make him better. I tried to rationalise with him:

“Seth, you know taking this medicine is going to make you feel better…”

He gave me an expression of ‘WHATEVS!’.

I was clueless, totally lost for ideas of what to do. Thankfully, my wife is smarter than me. A combination of bribery with chocolate, pretending the medicine would give him superhero powers and decorating each bottle of medicine with his favourite cartoon characters was ingenious. She even snuck a spoonful of Nurofen into his yoghurt and dissolved child paracetamol into apple juice.

Even with all those innovations, we were still struggling and when we returned to the doctor he suggested, amongst other things, a suppository to be administered when he was asleep as a way of keeping his temperature down.

You want me to put some sort of medicine up his bottom when he is asleep?!

ARE. YOU. ACTUALLY. JOKING?!

6. Please Don’t Judge Me…

Looking after your kid when they are not well is clearly rubbish. Simple as that. They don’t enjoy it. You don’t enjoy it. In fact, it’s a pretty miserable existence for all involved. You are tied to their side and any plans you may have made for that week go by the wayside.

But if the routine of looking after ill kid / work / looking after ill kid / sleepless nights / looking after ill kid / work (repeat for many consecutive days) wasn’t bad enough, it’s made even worse by one thing in particular:

I’ve already paid for bloody childcare this week so I’m £160 out of pocket AND I’m the one looking after misery guts!

I’m heartless. I know.

7. Silliness Is The Only Cure

Sometimes you just have to accept that nothing you can do can make a situation better. But with Seth, there’s always one thing that does the trick!

My wife rang me when I was at work because Seth wouldn’t stop crying. At this point he’d been ill for five days and he was totally fed up. Her instructions were ‘do something, anything, to make him happier’. I was slap bang in the middle of doing a radio show so fairly limited in what I could do so decided to send him a funny face.

He loved it!

Although I now have an array of very odd photos on my camera roll…

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#lad2dad lesson leave mum to the serious stuff, dad to the silly stuff

(Your comments, as always, very welcome below)

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