Was a lad (easy). Now a dad to Daisy & Seth (less easy).

The Pyjama Saga & Incredible Drama

18 Comments

How was your Christmas break?

Mine was great apart from five hours of it which will be forever known as ‘The Pyjama Saga & Incredible Drama’, the reason for which will become apparent very soon.

It was Boxing Day, I’d been working that morning doing a Breakfast Show on the radio and also been working at an event in the afternoon but managed to squeeze in a nap in between, full in the knowledge that I would be driving the 200 mile trip from Leeds to London that evening with the family.

My wife did a sterling job of getting the kids ready, feeding them, putting them in their pyjamas and packing the cases ahead of my return home. It had just gone 6pm and I packed up the car filling every available inch of space with the mountains of luggage my wife had decided we absolutely needed to take with us for our five day trip. It’s quite incredible; however many suitcases I leave out for her, she manages to fill them to the point of bursting. Like a sumo wrestler wearing a pair of Beckham briefs.

We then have the same conversation every trip:

Me: “Darling, I think you’ve over packed?”

Wife: “No babe, everything in there is there for a reason.”

Me: “Sure, but do you know that you’ve packed around 10 outfits for Daisy & Seth but we are only going for 5 days, it just seems a bit strange…”

Wife: “Do you want to do the packing next time…?”

Me: “I’m just saying it’s a lot and your mum does have a washing machine at her house…”

Wife: *GLARE*

We’ve managed to go from babe to GLARE in the space of four sentences.

Alas, some fights just aren’t worth having. One day I’ll learn…

Car packed, kids strapped in, sandwiches made for us and we were ready to go.

Pyjama Drama

In my head, this is how the journey would pan out:

18.25 Leave Leeds.

18.30 Put on the Frozen soundtrack.

18.50 Kids fall asleep.

19.05 Wife fall asleep.

19.06 Turn the radio on to listen to the football phone-in.

21.10 Arrive in London.

21.15 Transfer kids into their cot / bed.

21.20 Sit down, smugly and celebrate the journey’s success with a small whisky.

The reality wasn’t quite as smooth.

Now I’m going to tell you something that my wife doesn’t currently know but will find out when she reads this. I’d seen the forecast was for snow during parts of the journey. BUT, being me (in this instance ‘me’ is code for stubborn) I wasn’t going to let that stand in the way of us reaching our destination as planned.

What I didn’t bank on was how bad the snow was going to be!

Twenty minutes into the journey and all was fine, Daisy nodded off to sleep as I’d predicted and Seth was awake but quiet.

Five minutes later it was all beginning to unravel. The snow started coming down and coming down fast. My wife panicked at the sight of the first snowflake on the windscreen and even I was getting a little bit worried at how much was falling, much more than the forecast had predicted. Within five miles we were crawling down the motorway. Seth had embarked on a new game which I think was called ‘Wake Up Daisy By Shouting As Loud As Possible’ or something like that. Either way, he’s really good at it and succeeded.

It was pitch black, the motorway was covered in snow, all passengers in the car were awake and my clearly-overly-optimistic original agenda seemed a distant dream.

For nearly three hours we ploughed our way down the motorway, too worried to come off in case we got stuck on any side roads.

We’d heard on the grapevine that the snow was due to clear around Leicester, pretty much half way through the journey and as we edged closer we became slightly more confident that we wouldn’t be spending the night shacked up in the car.

Then things got worse.

Sniff.

Sniff, sniff.

My wife turned to me and said “I think Seth’s done a poo”.

No biggy, I thought. I’d been driving for over three hours and wanted to stretch my legs, the kids were wide awake and could do with the same so we decided to pull over at the next service station, Leicester Forest East.

We bundled the kids up in their pyjamas, jumpers and blankets and made a dash through the sleet straight inside heading to the baby change toilet so we could all refresh ourselves.

All was fine until my wife put Seth on the baby changing unit and pulled down his pyjama bottoms. Now, I’ll spare you with the gruesome details but on display is something that a friend of mine refers to as a POOMAGEDDEN explosion. You get the picture?

It was so bad that we had to throw his pyjama bottoms in the bin!

My wife instructed me to return to the car to find Seth some new pyjama bottoms whilst informing me that she had no idea which case they were in.

When I walked back into the service station, totally drenched after a frantic suitcase search, my wife was sat in the arcade section by the fruit machines.

It was nearly 10pm. The kids were awake, eating biscuits and totally unsuitably attired. I looked like I’d just had a shower and was shouting “FOUND THEM, FOUND THEM” across the service station oblivious to passers-by. Anyone walking past must have seriously questioned our credentials as responsible parents.

To be fair, I can’t blame them!

We returned to the car where the weather soon cleared, the kids fell asleep and we completed our journey, arriving five hours after we had set off.

Daisy & Seth transferred to bed perfectly. I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful towards them.

The journey was at last complete.

All that remained now was the small matter of surviving a week at my wife’s family… 😉

#lad2dad lesson Children need three times as many clothes as they are physically able to wear and anyone who doesn’t know this is stupid. Obviously.

Advertisements

Author: lad2dad

Dad to Daisy (aged 5) and Seth (aged 3) & Honey (aged hardly anything at all). And I chat on the radio for a living.

18 thoughts on “The Pyjama Saga & Incredible Drama

  1. Haha made me laugh. I’ve been there in similar circumstances x

  2. brilliant!! Mummy’s always know best

  3. The wife always knows best when it comes to packing even if we do go over board and over pack you never know when it might come in handy! I drive my husband crazy all bags will be packed at yet I still need a extra bag in between the boys in back seat filled with changes off clothes shoes pjs just in case saves us digging through all suitcases in the boot and I will admit I go crazy with packing I go into panic mode omg what if we go somewhere and it’s smart/dress down but least I’ve covered it 😉 glad you all arrived safely which is the main thing and also Seth picking the best moment to fill his nappy made me smile!!!

  4. oh dear. A few years ago we were ooking to buy a holiday home in the Lake District. We took our eldest to school one dy then headed off to Winderemere with our youngest then about 15 months old, to view a house. About 5 miles away from Winderemere our little angel did an impressive impersionation of Linda Blair in the Exercist! He was covered the car was covered…. I didn’t have spare clothes and the car STANK!! It was February and freezing! We couldn’t find a shop which sold kids clothes not even the charity shop had anything! we did our viewing then had to go straight home!

  5. Disaster! Thankfully we had Seth out of the car before we realised the extent of his… how shall I put it… work! 🙂

  6. Yessss! Poomageddon haha
    Just why or maybe how does so much come from such a tiny orrifice!
    Psst Daisy will let you know in years to come there is no such thing as too many clothes lol
    Keep up the good work Rich x

  7. i have been in the same situation plenty of times with my youngest (2). the mad dash to find some clean clothes when you have no clue where they are. “POOMAGEDDEN explosion”thank your mate for that, made me laugh so hard lol

  8. Oh and when we go on holiday I have packing OCD!! I am famous amongst my circle for it! I have lists and lists which even cross reference each other! I even have a list when stuff g oes in the case!!!

  9. Poomagedden is precisely the reason us mums “overpack”, I’m sure you’ll be grateful for it in future lol hope to hear how you survived 5 days with the in-laws!

  10. Ah the dreaded poonami! Always have spare clothes handy, I’ve had to use the boot as a changing mat before too…messy! Hilarious story, had a giggle as always at this x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s