Was a lad (easy). Now a dad to Daisy & Seth (less easy).


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The Ultimate Test

This weekend my wife and Daisy have been away visiting family in London. So it’s just been me and Seth sharing a ‘lads weekend’. Rather than write something at the end of the weekend, I thought I would document it in real time, updating the blog as things happened.

Friday

3pm Mrs W and Daisy have been dropped off at the train station; it’s just me and Seth. I look into his eyes, he looks into mine. We both know that this could go one of two ways but I’m confident I can keep the little fella in check.

4.04pm My phone beeps; it’s my wife. She’d like a photo of Seth as she’s missing him already. It’s been literally just over an hour. She clearly thinks I’m not going to cope. I take one and send it over to her with the caption ‘I think we’ll survive!’ although I’m only 99% sure that will actually be the case.

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6.10pm Tea time has gone very smoothly but bath time is proving to be slightly more challenging. I think Seth has realised that mummy – who normally gives him a bath – isn’t here. I’ve been trying to persuade him for around 10 minutes to come to the bathroom. He seems intent on disobeying me! I’ve taken a little video so you can see what I mean…

7.15pm Bedtime is now complete and the little guy has been (on the whole) pretty well behaved. The kitchen and playroom are a tip. I’m too tired to care (I was doing a Breakfast Show on the radio so I’ve been up since 4.30am). My wife would be horrified… but she’s not here. I’ll do the kitchen before I go to bed. As for the playroom, why bother to tidy it when it’ll be turned upside down within thirty seconds of Seth strolling in there the following morning? I’ve never understood this, just accept that one room in your house will always remain a tip and save yourself a helluva lot of hassle!

10pm Bedtime. I haven’t done the kitchen. I don’t know who I was kidding as I was clearly never going to do it! That aside, a successful start to the weekend.

Saturday

7am Seth is stirring but I’m hopping in the shower before he gets up. Preparation of the highest order! He’s asking for ‘MUMMY’ and ‘DAISY’… very loudly. I inform him that the two of us have a date with Peppa Pig at the theatre and he seems to forget about his absent family!

7.35am Downstairs for breakfast; a few more pots to add onto the existing pile in the kitchen. Jeez, the amount of washing up has grown. Not enough to alarm me just yet as I’ve got a full day and a half before my wife returns but it’s definitely reached a level that would make her break out in a cold sweat. I’ve counted Seth’s plates and he has 6 left so technically we could keep going for nearly a week before there’s an actual necessity to pick up the Fairy liquid.

9.45am Time to set off to see a Peppa Pig show at the West Yorkshire Playhouse. We have a strict rule that Seth is only allowed to take one teddy in the car with him otherwise it gets out of control. He’s not playing ball and won’t let go of the three teddies he’s holding but I’m not giving in.

9.47am Seth has been crying for two minutes shouting TEDDY at the top of his voice. I’m a firm believer that you shouldn’t be held to ransom by a human being who only has one digit in his age. You can cry as much as you want buddy, but this daddy ain’t gonna stand for it.

9.50am Seriously mate, if you don’t give me the teddy we are going to be late for the show. He’s still crying, but now he’s started calling out for ‘MUMMY’. I’m wounded.

9.52am We are in the car. Seth has his three teddies. I’ve given in. Obviously.

Seth Teddies

You win some, you lose some.

10.30am I’ve been looking forward to taking Seth to see Peppa Pig because he is totally obsessed with the TV show. If you’ve not seen my blog entitled Peppa-aaaaargh Pig, CLICK HERE when you get a moment and you’ll see what I mean. The show is over an hour and I’ve no idea if he’ll be too young for it or if he’ll enjoy it. I’m armed with biscuits, drinks and a £7.50 Peppa Pig baton. Fingers crossed.

11.43am What a star!!! He absolutely loved the show and is now babbling on about the things he saw. It all makes sense in his head. All I can work out is ‘Daddy Pig’, ‘Mr Bull’ and ‘Peppa’ but he seems happy enough and I’m beaming with pride.

1pm Knackered. Lunchtime is over and actually the morning has gone very smoothly. Seth has gone for his nap and I’ve got 90 minutes to do whatever I want. Think I’m going to mow the lawn because it’s got a bit out of hand and I’ll be in the good books with my wife. Just need to sit down on the couch for five minutes first…

2.32pm Ah. It would appear I’ve fallen asleep on the couch for well over an hour! Seth is crying. I’ll do the garden later. Straight after I’ve cleaned the kitchen!

6pm Spent a fairly uneventful afternoon with my folks and took Seth out for tea. He’s been a bit grumpy and I think he is genuinely missing his mummy and sister. As am I. I look around the house at the mounting mess and a big pile of washing. And then, a realisation; turns out my wife does a lot more housework than I previously gave her credit for. It’s like we normally live in a 5* hotel with tidy rooms, crisp, clean sheets, freshly washed and ironed clothes and a sparkly kitchen but we’ve now downgraded to a budget Ibis. I vow to have a mass cleaning spree after Seth has gone to bed and show more appreciation to my wife when she returns. Neither are likely, but the sentiment is there.

7.08pm Seth is in his cot and I’ve come downstairs. I’m absolutely exhausted. Like, totally exhausted. I have no plans for the evening. The fridge is low on food. No idea what I am going to eat. The house is a tip. My back hurts.

7.23pm The doorbell rings. It’s my mum and she’s bought me some food. I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful for anything in my life. She must have just known that I wouldn’t have thought about food for myself. Turns out Seth isn’t the only man in our house who needs his mummy.

9.57pm Bed.

Sunday (soon to be referred to as Karma-day)

6.40am Seth has stirred so I’m up. Today we are going to have some breakfast, do a bit of swimming at Virgin Active and then Seth will be going to my parents for a few hours whilst I go to do my radio show this afternoon. What could go wrong…?!

7.24am During breakfast I’ve decided to bite the bullet and tackle the kitchen. It’s in a right state but by the time I’m finished with it, it will be spotless. My wife will be amazed and forever wowed by my sterling housework. Or something like that. Pots have been washed, dishwasher unstacked and the worktops have been wiped down (normally I’d just wipe the bits onto the floor but today I’ve collected them in my hand to put them in the bin, then wiped the surfaces… with Dettol!). I’ve even done the washing and hung it all up to dry. I’m feeling fairly smug.

8.11am Just getting Seth ready to go swimming and I’ve had an actual brainwave. Rather than put him in a regular nappy, then have to change him at the swimming pool, I’ll just put him in the swimming nappy now so I don’t have to faff around later. Sometimes I outdo myself, I really do…

8.46am We’ve arrived. As always, Seth loves the pool and getting soaking wet. Unfortunately for me, we haven’t actually gone in the pool yet. It would appear that I’ve been a touch naive and as I pick him up out of the car I can feel that his tracksuit bottoms are wet through. Turns out his swim nappies are nowhere near as absorbent as his regular ones and Seth has decided to empty the entire contents of his bladder in one fell swoop. He’s drenched. I haven’t bought a spare pair. Karma has dealt my over confidence a severe blow.

8.50am I’m trying to dry them in the changing room. It’s not working.

Tracksuit Bottoms

If my wife could see me right now she’d be horrified.

10.04am Swimming done so it’s back to the changing room. Seth’s trousers are still wet. I have no option… he’s going back in the wee-soaked trousers for the journey home. I’ve learnt a valuable lesson in parenting. You can never have too many spares… of everything!

12pm Seth is now with my parents (he’s wearing a new outfit!) and I’ve arrived at Heart Yorkshire for work until 4pm. 4 hours, child free.

7.26pm Daisy and Mrs W are home. The kids are in bed. I’m soooo tired, which I’ve realised is a theme throughout the weekend. My wife has just gone out to meet friends for a bite to eat and the fridge is slightly emptier than last night. Sadly, there’s no sign of my mum…

#lad2dad lesson Boys, no matter what age, rely on their mums.

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