Not quite as catchy as Four Weddings & A Funeral but an apt description for the past weekend which has contained all the ingredients for a comedy in which Seth has unwittingly ended up being the male lead!
If you sometimes feel embarrassed at your kids’ behaviour or you’ve ever seen parents struggling to contain their can-I-just-be-swallowed-by-a-great-big-hole-style embarrassment, then you’ll appreciate this.
Here’s the little fella. Looks like butter wouldn’t melt…
My wife and I decided to try out a new cafe just down the road from us called The Woods. They’ve got loads of books and toys for kids so we thought it would be the perfect place to grab a coffee.
As we walked in, Seth spotted a cake stand on the floor, just at his eye level, and said ‘cake’. We told him it was too close to tea-time and he couldn’t have any.
What an error!
After 15 minutes or so, he got a bit restless and decided to go for a wander.
At the entrance of The Woods is a staircase and next to that staircase is the wooden cake stand Seth had set his eyes upon, which holds four cakes.
Now, everything I’m about to tell you will probably leave you thinking ‘how did you not see this coming?’
Believe me, I know!
Seth strolled over towards the stairs, stopped, and looked back at us with a smile that troubled me somewhat. I knew something bad was about to happen. It was just that kind of expression.
He placed one foot on the bottom step, glanced back once more and then hauled himself up so he was standing on the first step. (I have since been back to take a picture).
Everything began to unravel when his eyes made contact with the cake’s frosting. Seth became Romeo and the cake was his Juliet. He just had to have her.
Romeo began to wobble on the step.
Poor Seth; he did his best to regain his balance but he knew he was falling. Desperate to do anything he could to salvage his chances of a romantic liaison with the cake, he reached out his right arm towards the banister.
Had he been successful, none of the sorry mess that was about to engulf this peaceful cafe would have happened.
Sadly, he wasn’t.
Rather than making contact with the banister, Seth grabbed onto the left hand side of the cake stand. Attempting to use it to gain some leverage, he instead fell backwards, taking with him the cake stand and all of its contents.
The cafe fell silent.
Seth looked whimsically towards us. His facial expression had turned from a cheeky one to an ‘Are you about to bollock me?’ one!
Thankfully he was absolutely fine.
But the same can’t be said for the cake stand, the cakes or the floor, which was now covered in cake.
My wife and I felt awful about the whole thing. We rushed over to the manager to apologise as the eyes of everyone present fixated directly on us.
Staff members darted over with kitchen roll to clear the mess.
We offered to pay.
They looked embarrassed.
We felt embarrassed.
As for Seth?
He simply bent down, dipped his hands in the cake, and started to have a taste.
Romeo & Juliet were united at last…
#lad2dad lesson there is such a thing as ‘cake karma’!
(Feel free to leave your tales of child-induced public humiliation by clicking ‘comment’!)