If there’s one lesson from the world of fatherhood this week, it’s that no matter where you are or what you’re doing, the potential for embarrassment is only ever a heartbeat away.
There are certain things that fall into the category of ‘dad jobs’ in my household, one of which is taking Daisy swimming once a week. Like most kids, she absolutely loves it and her ensuing smile makes the rigmarole of the whole affair more than worthwhile.
The only part of the two hour round trip that is a bit of a palaver is getting us both kitted out. They have a ‘kids section’ at my local pool which is annexed from the ‘mainland’ of the changing room, separated by a gate, but fully in view. Non dads in the adult section glance over (there were about 15 on that day), normally they have pitying eyes, glad that that they don’t have to deal with the drama of getting a kid changed.
I was that person once. *sigh
Surprisingly, this particular change was going relatively smoothly once the ‘to hair bobble or not to hair bobble’ debate had died down. Picture the scene; Daisy is sat on the bench in her ballerina swimming costume, armbands in place, bobble round her wrist (she won the debate), looking towards me with the kind of big smile that melts every dads’ heart.
And then it happened.
As I removed my boxers exposing my bare legs and stepped into my swimming shorts, from nowhere, the sweetest little voice piped up. “Daddy”, she said… “Look…”.
I glanced up, mid change, and waited to see what the problem was. Then, she roared;
“That’s your willy”.
Time stood still for a moment. It was if Daisy had been inspired by the gameshow Catchphrase and simply wanted to say what you see. Fellow gym goers, as if in slow motion, focussed their eyes in my direction. My face turned a shade of red, which was even more disappointing considering I was in pink swimming shorts and was now clashing. Daisy laughed (she knew what she’d done) and 15 men, albeit unintentionally, were staring at the little general.
My response of “yes it is Daisy” seemed to do nothing to avert the unwanted attention. In hindsight, I think I was attempting to play the whole thing down (if you’ll excuse the pun).
#lad2dad lesson expect the unexpected.